The Eternal

Last week I went down to Caffe Vita in Downtown Olympia and picked up a copy of my favorite newspaper: the Stranger. It is a terrible newspaper full of ads and made up of mostly opinions. The redeeming factors are the writers' ability to write something funny or otherwise amusing and the funny/creepy personal ads in the back. In the front, I saw an ad for the new Sonic Youth album, a band that I didn't know was still making music. I got really excited and went off to get a copy.

Sonic Youth's "The Eternal" sounds like the other Sonic Youth albums,(not that that is a bad thing, I still like it) they know how to package noise pop and make it fun to listen to. The album kicks off with some classic 'the kids don't care' vocals and some crazy distortion and guitar noise with moments of lucidity. About half way through the album, the music gets much more tame and effect heavy with right on vocals just in time for 'Malibu Gas Station' the song I would choose as the single. The rest of the album is much less crazy. The album even ends on a downright mellow point, while still maintaining the noise drones one expects. If you like noise pop, The Eternal is a good album to get.

The Swarm

I've been swarmed with new websites recently by friends who think I'll like them.
Luckily my friends know me pretty well and so I have this huge swarm of websites I've been checking way too frequently.
Here's the list, I think you (my readers) will probably enjoy some of these.

The Sixty-One via Charlie
besides the name and awesome layout, which i dig, the service is nice too. Its like last.fm on awesome pills. It's a relatively new website so you can also feel really hip knowing and talking about it. hooray!

Hipster Runoff via Jesse and/or Courtney W.
I've actually been checking this one for a while, but now that I have a steady internet connection again (via iphone) i've been checking it a lot. Carles has a very specific and rediculous sense of humor. Check it out if you like laughing.

Look At That Fucking Hipster via I wanna say Jason (correct me if I'm wrong)
LOL HIPSTERS WITH CAPTIONS

Overheard in New York via I wanna say Jason (correct me if I'm wrong)
This is a website where people hear other people say funny things in New York and then post them on the internet. People say hilarious shit, really hilarious shit.

Picture is Unrelated still might be Jason
picture and a caption hilarity. Way good, but doesn't update much

My Bloody Valentine....... 3D?

I've been seeing lots of ads for a movie called "My Bloody Valentine 3D." Talking to many of my shoegazing friends, they were all very upset by this. For those of you who are unaware, there was a band called "My Bloody Valentine" that became extremely famous. They led the shoegazing movement and so has become widely known. After the shoegazer in me became offended, I decided to do some research. These are my findings.

First, we'll talk about the new movie.

MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D LOOKS TERRIBLE

The plot according to Wikipedia:
"Ten years ago, a tragedy changed the town of Harmony forever. Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles), an inexperienced coal miner, caused an accident in the tunnels that trapped and killed five men and sent the only survivor, Harry Warden (Richard John Walters), into a coma. But Harry Warden wanted revenge. Exactly one year later, on Valentine's Day, he woke up and brutally murdered twenty-two people with a pickax before being killed.
Ten years later, Tom Hanniger returns to Harmony on Valentine's Day, still haunted by the deaths he caused. Struggling to make amends with his past, he grapples with unresolved feelings for his ex-girlfriend, Sarah (Jaime King), who is now married to his best friend, Axel (Kerr Smith), the town sheriff. But tonight, after years of peace, something from Harmony's dark past has returned. Wearing a miner's mask and armed with a pickax, an unstoppable killer is on the loose. And as his footsteps come ever closer, Tom, Sarah and Axel realize in terror that it just might be Harry Warden who's come back to claim them..."

Typical slasher flick. Lots of blood and tense moments, maybe some metal during the opening and ending sequences. Since its in 3D is it therefore more terrifying? Other than the draw of a possible 3D soft-core scene, (maybe the first ever in the history of film?) I don't think I could pay money to see it.

Now, the movie shares its name with "My Bloody Valentine(Band)." They were the biggest thing to ever happen to shoegaze. Their music (directly or indirectly) influenced many bands that I feel are pretty important right now: Film School, Darker My Love, The Dandy Warhols, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, and most notably The Brian Jonestown Massacre. In fact, the BJM's latest album was titled "My Bloody Underground" an homage to MBV and The Velvet Underground. That should help you understand the shock seeing this movie trailer caused in Shoegazers.

Here is some MBV if you haven't heard them before.


After digging a bit deeper, I found out that My Bloody Valentine 3D is actually a remake of a Canadian slasher flick from the '80s. The movie came out in 1981 while the band started in 1984. The name connection is not a coincidence either. According to this fansite they named themselves after the movie.

What a strange thing to name your band after.
BTW Emo kids, listen to this instead of your Dashboard Confessional. I'll hate you less.

Have the Billboard Charts Outlived Their Usefulness

Being bored AND curious, I went to the internet today and looked up the Billboard charts. I had never realized that Billboard was actually a magazine. In fact I'd never heard anyone talking about Billboard that wasn't a Radio DJ or an MTV VJ. I went to their website and read about the two groups Billboard caters to: the "fans" and record execs. Looking at what tops the charts, i'm guessing the numbers have nothing to do with good music. Would you care to take a look at the Billboard charts (for December 26th, 2008) with me?
(I'll be listening to the songs while writing this as to channel the exasperation I'll be feeling)

1. Beyonce - Single Ladies
Somehow, I've already seen the video for this and been thoroughly unimpressed. I also recognize the song before it plays. There is an annoying noise in the background. Its got an alright beat. The vocals are good, but the song itself is really shitty. A record exec probably wrote this piece of shit. I can imagine it now, "The kids like weird noises and monotonous beats, right? WELL, have I got a SONG for YOU! Beyonce, sing this and your record will go platinum"

Alright, I already have a headache, but i must push on in the name of science!

2. T.I. - Live Your Life
I've already heard this one, too. Its been played in a few peoples cars while i was "riding dirty." Alright, they get props for having that old internet meme with the singing fat kid, but I'm a little put off by how long it took them to use it. I like the chorus, but the verses are pretty awful. The beat is awesome. This is the kind of song everyone wants to sing along with. This is a really good clubbing or cruising song, but I can't imagine really listening to it alone... like I am right now. They tried to make this way too serious, especially using the fat kid meme.

I looked it up just in case you were unfamiliar, it was the Numa Numa Kid.(the actual song is called "Dragostea Din Tei")


3. Lady GaGa - Just Dance
This is already pissing me off, Its like she is trying to be both Britney Spears AND (lady rapper name here). It sounds like its one of those party scene songs, but less rappy and much more targeted at 12 year old girls. Also way too much annoying electronic shit for me to listen to it. My headache is worse than with Beyonce. I feel this is another prepackaged type record exec song. Its great when the record company writes your songs for you.

Well, I don't think I'm ever gonna listen to that again. Well here's some Kanye, like an oasis in the desert. He's easy listening.

4.Kanye West - Heartless
I am pro-vocoder and so this song catches my attention right away. Awesome beat, simple and uses a sound i haven't heard before. He just said Dr. Evil, that makes me smile. Can't really tell if Kanye is using a vocoder or not. I think so, but I'm not sure.

And we've found another dip.

5. Britney Spears - Womanizer
I am turned off by the intro and the name of this song. Nice beat, but Britney sounds hella creepy. Can she say womanizer enough. It sounds like Britney learned a new word and decided to make a song about it. She finally figured out what to call KFed. This is awful. Kill me. please kill me. oh my god. this is amazingly awful. it takes skill to suck this much. Who listens to this? Womanizer, the worst song of 2008?

Can it get any worse? Oh, i remember seeing this next artist on VH1 a few months ago. She was singing about kissing girls... and liking it.

6. Katy Perry - Hot 'N Cold
I like the synth, but the lyrics are shitty. Not nearly as good as her other hit. Also, she shits on her voice for the verses, but she does good on the choruses. Well, I think her hearts in the right place, but this song still turned out pretty shitty. Definitely NOT Top 10 Material.

7.Taylor Swift - Love Story
I like banjo and she has a nice voice. Kinda feels like it might end up on CMT. Kind REALLY feels like it might end up on CMT. I don't hate it, but I don't really want to listen to the rest of it. I guess there are a few minutes for it to get bad. Oh shit! Minor chord breakdown. So cliched. And now for the upbeat breakdown part2.

They'd be smart to cut off the back end of that song. It wouldn't suck half as much.

8.Kanye West - Love Lockdown
I've heard this song before. The intro is kinda repetative. Good beats again. Its alright, but it doesn't really stand out. Its a little whitebread for me. I can't think of anything to say for this. Its so average I can't really say anything.

I hate to be that way because i usually love kanye. I mean, I AM a white boy from the suburbs.

9 T.I. - Whatever You Like
I dig the 8bit sounding synth. The lyrics don't suck either. I like it. Its a love song about buying a girl whatever she wants because he has way too much fucking money. From an apolitical standpoint, I like this. Wow.

10. Beyonce - If I Were A Boy
I'm weirded out by this already. Does Beyonce want to be a guy? She is basically saying how she'd be an awesome guy. This song is way lame, but at least its not grating. Maybe she's trying to confuse everybody. And then there is a lame, even slower, breakdown. It just made me want to go to sleep.

So there is the list. Out of 10 songs, 3 had even the slightest chance of making my top 10 list. Most of them really sucked. REALLY SUCKED. So, have the Billboard charts outlived their usefulness?